Lab Grown Meats are the Next Vaccines

Good tech with a Bad Rap

In 1958, Viktor Zhdanov convinced the World Health Assembly to attempt eradicating Smallpox off the face of the Earth. 22 years later, on 8 May 1980, they declared victory. Through rigorous reporting and immunization, we were able to put an end to one of the cruelest diseases in history, and prevent millions from dying agonizing deaths every year.

Vaccines made that possible, and it’s probably the best part of their CV, but they can also claim credit for the successful prevention of Mumps, Measles, Rubella, Yellow Fever, HPV, Meningitis, Diphtheria, Hepatitis, Polio, Tetanus, Whooping Cough, Chicken Pox, Covid-19, Flu, Rotavirus, Shingles, Tuberculosis, and more. You’d think with a track record like that, we’d be jabbing each other for fun. Dusting off the ol’ syringes after a long day at work and making our immune systems godlike - just because we can.

However, vaccinations among English children has actually been declining for the last 10 years, while the situation in the US tells a similar story. Now, fortunately, the rates for both are still quite high, but the trend is concerning. It feels like vaccine skepticism has a much stronger foothold in ordinary discourse than it did 20 years ago. Last year, Robert F Kennedy endorsed the view that vaccines cause autism (something that is patently false) on The Joe Rogan Experience, with very little pushback. This year, right wing political commentator Candace Owens claimed that vaccines have caused an "explosion of childhood cancer". During the pandemic, Fox News repeatedly cast doubt on the safety of the Covid-19 vaccine (despite 90% of it's staff having received it).

If you’ve been paying attention the last few years, you may have noticed a pattern. Vaccine Skepticism is becoming increasingly popular among the right wing - which means it’s becoming a partisan issue. Some issues have become partisan when they have no right to be. Recently, our political leanings has become a much better predictor of our thoughts on climate change. Why? Climate change is an empirical issue that we can settle with science - and yet something about wanting lower tax rates makes us far more likely to think we're not causing it.

Our stances on vaccines are treading a similar path, and I imagine the situation regarding skepticism is only going to get worse. If you are not only skeptical of vaccines, but also believe it’s the sort of thing a bleeding heart liberal would do, you’re probably not going to get jabbed. This is bad, because if it does get worse, it means a lot of people are going to die pointlessly.

Now, unfortunately, this trend is claiming another victim - lab grown meat. Another technology with enormous potential that’s being dragged through the mud by conspiratorial thinking, and political tribalism. For years I’ve desperately hoped it would integrate itself into society unnoticed, but as it becomes more mainstream, pushback is rearing it’s ugly head. As of writing this article, Florida has decided to ban the sale of lab grown meat, with 3 other Republican states close behind. What’s their reasoning? Here’s Governor Ron DeSantis to explain:

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“I know the legislature is doing a bill to try to protect our meat. You need meat, OK? We’re going to have meat in Florida. We’re not going to do that fake meat. Like, that doesn’t work”

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Now, I know it might surprise you that a Republican Governor isn’t the best place to get nutrition advice - but you don't need meat. Additionally, it’s not obvious what he’s referencing when he says the “fake” meat “doesn’t work”. It works in equating nutrition, in equating taste, in limiting environmental harm, in preventing antibiotic resistance, in preventing zoonotic diseases, and most importantly it works in preventing one of the worst crimes in history - our subjugation, torture, and commodification of other species.

What’s particularly mind boggling about DeSantis’ move is how antithetical it is to the very values his party claims to hold. He’s explicitly said the ban is there is "protect the cattle industry". Since when have right wing politicians lost faith in the free market? Isn’t their whole schtick that the government shouldn’t stick their nose in where it doesn’t belong? It seems like crippling a nascent industry is actually fine, as long as it can win you votes among cattle ranchers.

It’s times like this that I want to stand up from my laptop screen, walk outside, and yell at the world “What more do you want!?". For decades people have argued a convincing case to end animal farming, they’ve pointed to the torture and the environmental destruction - they’ve even made plant based food so good that a so-called expert can't tell the difference. Now, we’re on the verge of making a product that is literally identical and still we can’t stop people from killing animals.

Me, after googling DeSantis tweets for this article

DeSantis’ idea that lab grown meat is “fake” and therefore not worth eating reminds me of conversations I’ve had in my personal life. At a previous job, I spoke with someone about lab grown meat becoming the norm. She said that she would still eat animals because she thinks lab grown stuff is gross. I explained that it would be identical, and she replied “Still, something about it is off”.

Now, the reasons for slaughtering animals for food are already weak, but refusing to try a perfect alternative that spares them because “something about it is off” really takes the cake. I would wager the people that refuse lab grown meat because it’s “icky” would feel very differently if they had to lower the animal into the gas chamber themselves. It perfectly encapsulates the average person’s utter disconnect from the cruelty involved in animal agriculture. People will get mad at you for showing them what happens in slaughterhouses, yet they’re quite happy to cause it to happen for something as trivial as thinking a cell culture is a bit weird. It makes me want to crush my head in a vice.

It’s also not even icky! It’s actually the opposite. It’s nutritious food that’s made in a controlled and sterile environment. You know what is icky? Eating the flesh of animals that have had to spend their entire lives standing in their own shit. Eating meat that has to be “prepared” by bursting abscesses that lie under the skin. No, really, look at what it is we're eating. How is this not far more disgusting than a cell that was replicated in a lab? Seriously, I know a guy with a vice! I’ll do it!

Clearly, this is going to become a bigger talking point as lab grown tech begins to actually compete with existing methods. Bill Gates will be accused of putting microchips into lab grown meat as he was with vaccines. People will say that they “don’t trust it”, and when pressed on why, they’ll make some vague appeal to it being made from chemicals. It will suck, and it will cost a lot of lives, both human and non human. I only hope the industry is given enough of a chance elsewhere that it’s merits are obvious, and we’re able to come to our senses. Maybe if we make it cure smallpox.